19 years since I glimpsed you for the first time

19 years since you made me a mum

19 years of grappling with my own mortality

19 summers since I've loved you until I'm numb

I weep as I write this to you

Remembering the tension of that day

Hearing the doctor muttering about oxygen

Before they whisked you away

I'd no clue what was normal

Reality, momentarily on pause

I just absorbed the oddness

And lay there in my silent bubble of noise

You were returned to me, eventually

And I recall wondering, how I should know you were mine

Our eyes met and I loved you

So began the rest of time

The rest of time has been a rollercoaster

You're a challenging old soul

I wouldn't change a hair on your head my darling

I just want you to survive through the cold

The cold that has often enveloped you

Though your radiant warmth pulls you through

My pain is that I can't do it for you

Still I shadow your every move

I love your kindness

That you notice intolerance.

That fairness matters to you

That you are true

I love your courage

In the face of your difference

Though I see your pain in solitude.

I wish it could be easier for you

19 summers since I first met you

19 years of showing you my way

The stage is yours now my angel

Lead me forward to your next day.

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